John Cena: The Unicorn

A unicorn went to the mainland to attack random people. The unicorn was a fierce hunter with the power of rainbow laser beams. He always attacked people with pacemakers just for the fun of it. He would always condescend other unicorns because he knew he was tougher then them. He believed the other shabby unicorns don’t deserve to live. However, after a few hours of beating up unicorns and old people with heart problems, he started to feel homesick. He could not go back since the parliament hated him and would blast him into dust if they ever saw him. The other unicorns were treated badly because the mean unicorn set a bad stereotype that all unicorns are jerks, so not even they could go see the parliament. The mean unicorn had no disregard for the law and did not care who he beat up; he even beat up the president once. The old men and the unicorns of the mainland decided to vote whether the mean unicorn, John Cena, should be kicked out of the city or not. John Cena won the championship for beating up one hundred old men in a minute, and the other unicorns never got a chance to become a champion because of him. However, people always threw rotten tomatoes at John because of how mean he used to be; he needed to clear his name somehow. If he gave up his championship belt then their might be a chance people would forgive him, but he had lost it fifty years ago and he needed a godsend to find it. Suddenly, a climber told John that he had seen his belt on top of a mountain one day. While half way to the top John was attacked by a batch of cookies, John pulled out his sleeping pills and used them to sedate the cookies. On his way up John got hit by a rock to the head and lost the epiphany to beat up old men. He remembered the helpful advice a suave man named Shia Labeouf once told him: “JUST DO IT!” John assembled all his laser power and blasted the mountain. The cumbersome mountain was a thing of the past, and John gave away his belt as a peace offering.