Once upon a time there was a sad robot. He looked in the fridge and realized that was no ham. So he went to the supermarket and bought ham and his eyes fell into a beautiful woman. The woman wore sunglasses that twinkled in the light. She smiled mischievously and began to dance like Michael Jackson. “Heh, heh,” she shouted as she moon walked across the floor, creating a scene of fans, onlookers, and potential “haters” of her dance moves. Then a war began between the fans and haters. The fans used laser-shooting foam fingers and the haters fought back with EMP picket signs. One fan launched his sign directly to Professor Burger, nailing him in the nose. “Ouch!” he screamed. He was in far too much pain as the glass stabbed into his foot. He looked into the horizon to see Kim Jong-un’s smiling face. Was it a serious smile or an evil smile? He would never know because seconds later Kim Jong-un shot him in the head. I somehow caught the bullet and threw it back at him. That’s when I realized I was Neo from The Matrix.